Day 14

I DECLARE that I will use my words to bless people. I will speak favor and victory over my family, friends, and loved ones. I will help call out their seeds of greatness by telling them "I'm proud of you, I love you, you are amazing, you are talented, you are beautiful, you will do great things in life." This is my declaration.

I try to do this with my niece and nephew all the time. Growing up, my family members did not speak to each other this way. That is probably because no one in the earlier generations spoke to each other that way.

I DECLARE I will use my words to bless people more often. And so it is.

Day 13

I DECLARE that God is bringing about new seasons of growth. I will not get stagnant and hold on to the old. I will be open to change knowing that God has something better in front of me. New doors of opportunity, new relationships, and new levels of favor are in my future. This is my declaration.

I am open to change.

For the past 10 or so years, I have been pursuing a career as an actor. It's been a struggle. I booked a few jobs here and there, but so far, I haven't gotten to a point where I am working regularly.

I got my first taste of acting when I was very young, and I fell in love. (Thinking back, I also remember experiencing the heartache of not getting a part as a teenager, but it was easier back then...?...) When I got older, I wanted to do it for a living, but my parents told me that I needed to find something else. After exploring several somethings that led to nothing, I had an opportunity to give the acting thing a go.

It has been an interesting ride. There were moments of ease; like getting an agent easily, booking back to back jobs and getting Taft-Hartley'd into the union. Then there was the heartache. In the beginning, when I would audition for roles in plays, I would cry when I didn't get them. I am a sensitive gal. (I am remembering now how I used to cry as a little girl, like 6 years old, when I would lose basketball games.)

My acting journey became one of learning to survive the industry. It was kind of my spiritual journey. It was very much my spiritual journey. Through my struggles in acting, I have experienced so much spiritual growth. I have also met a lot of wonderful people and made great friends through acting. For this I am so grateful.

Now I am at a place where, I don't know if acting is for me. I hit a patch a little while ago where whenever I attempted to do anything business related to my career (e.g. marketing), I would actually start feeling physically ill.

All I know to do now is to listen very carefully for God's guidance. I DECLARE that I hear God's guidance loud and clear. He has a very special plan for me and my abundance,happiness, creative fulfillment, love, and prosperity, and everything and everyone involved are supporting its fruition perfectly right now. And so it is.

Day 12

I DECLARE I am special and extraordinary. I am not average! I have been custom-made. I am one of a  kind. Of all the things God created, what He is the most proud of is me. I am His masterpiece, his most prized possession. I will keep my head held high, knowing I am a child of the most high God, made in His very image. This is my declaration.

Guess what? I love this! When I read it, it truly put a smile on my face and a loving warmth spread through my body.

My boyfriend and I cut the "vacation" short. I had to check in with him to remind myself why I was doing what I was doing. I needed to know that it was for good. He said mission was accomplished in the ten days, and he didn't need 20 more apart. Thank God! I told him that he is responsible for making sure that he gets his "guy time" and for knowing when it is needed.

I share this, because while we were apart, I tore myself up a little bit about whether the "vacation" would end in him not wanting to be with me anymore, based on his measurement of my worth. One of my declarations is that I trust that I have peaceful, wonderful, loving relationships with men of God. So, I know that if I am experiencing something other than this, this person may not be for me. Or there could be growth that we are to experience in partnership. I have very strong faith in this. But when you miss someone, you miss someone. And as Rumi so beautifully puts it, "The wound is the place where the Light enters you."

This is such a lovely reminder of my worth. It only matters what God thinks, and God loves me just the way I am. (This is worth repeating.) I DECLARE I am special and extraordinary. I am not average! I have been custom-made. I am one of a kind. Of all the things God created, what He is the most proud of is me. I am His masterpiece, his most prized possession. I will keep my head held high, knowing I am a child of the most high God, made in his very image. This is my declaration! And it is so.

Day 11

I DECLARE Ephesians 3:20 over my life. God will do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I ask or think. Because I honor Him, His blessings will chase me down and overtake me. I will be in the right place at the right time. People will go out of their way to be good to me. I am surrounded by God's favor. This is my declaration.

I love this so much. (I feel like I've said that about many other declarations already...)

Complete strangers really helped me get through some sad times in the last week or so. I would be shopping at Trader Joe's, missing my boyfriend, and suddenly, I'd look over to see a little boy dancing a jig. I would connect with the person checking my purchases, and they would offer pleasantries with true kindness and sincerity. I'd catch little babies staring up at me, just looking so adorable, that I can't help but feel love.

I chose to engage, and when I do, I see God is truly everywhere. I could have kept my head down, my eyes lowered, and my mind on my misery, but I chose to witness God's favor and blessings and people's goodness.

Day 10

I DECLARE that God will accelerate His plan for my life as I put my trust in Him. I will accomplish my dreams faster than I thought possible. It will not take years to overcome an obstacle, to get out of debt, or to meet the right person. God is doing things faster than before. He will give me victory sooner than I think. He has blessings that will thrust me years ahead. This is my declaration.

When I tweeted this and blogged this declaration now, both times, rather than thrust, I typed trust. So, before I corrected, it read, "He has blessings that will trust me years ahead." I like that. I have been developing a brand new, trusting relationship with God.

It didn't start out that way. One day, while in elementary school, I was introduced to a scary, punishing God who sent people to hell. I was told to accept Him into my heart as my Lord and Savior right then and there, in the middle of the playground, during recess, or I'd go to hell. I did. I caved. And I ran home, immediately after school, crying to my mom, telling her that she had to do the same. She denied me, saying, "We are Buddha." I was devastated. I renounced my acceptance, because how could I be in heaven while my mommy was in hell? How could I choose this mean, scary, punishing God over my mommy? My first lesson in Christianity was to fear God. And this also made me angry at Him. There was no mention of love. And then there were more incidents, which supported the fear and anger.

So, I had a trust issue with God. But I see that God never gave up on me. He brought me back to seek him instantaneously. When I was led to seek again, I was sure it was the right thing to do. And my journey has made me happier and more peaceful. It has been a journey. So, my trust in God is growing.

I DECLARE that God is accelerating the growth of my trust in Him. And so it is. That feels good. <3

Day 9

I DECLARE unexpected blessings are coming my way. I will  move forward from barely making it to having more than enough. God will open up supernatural doors for me. He will speak to the right people about me. I will see Ephesians 3:20, exceedingly, abundantly, above-and-beyond favor and increase in my life. This is my declaration.

I love this. I am on a mission right now, a mission of change. I've been asking for it, and it's happening. The thing about asking for change is that life starts to look different, and it's not always comfortable. 

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, my heart is breaking wide open. I think I have cried every day since starting this project. I feel like I'm letting go, which is necessary in order to let God, right?

I DECLARE I am making more and more and more and more room for God and His blessings. 

Day 8

I DECLARE God's dream for my life is coming to pass. It will not be stopped by people, disappointments, or adversities. God has solutions to every problem I will ever face already lined up. The right people and the right breaks are in my future. I will fulfill my destiny. This is my declaration.

Thank you, Joel Osteen. I really need to hear this right now.

I DECLARE that by committing to this practice, I am strengthening my faith. God is my strength. God takes care of everything. I can surrender and relax. I surrender.

Day 7

I DECLARE that God has a great plan for  my life. He is directing my steps. And even though I may not always understand how, I know my situation is not a surprise to God. He will work out every detail to my advantage. In His perfect timing, everything will turn out right. This is my declaration.

My heart is breaking wide open. Relationship has always been very important to me. I feel as though I am making room for more love, a greater love in my life. And with that, all other major aspects of my life - health, abundance, creative fulfillment, prosperity - will increase exponentially as well.

Love is so key.

Day 6

I DECLARE  a legacy of faith over my life. I declare that I will store up blessings for future generations. My life is marked by excellence and integrity. Because I'm making right choices and taking steps of faith, others will want to follow me. God's abundance is surrounding my life today. This is my declaration.

I skipped a day. Kinda.

I got part of it done. I read and tweeted, then I got distracted and I before I knew it, I was heading off to play beach volleyball without blogging. I think I thought I'd be home early to do the blog portion among other things.

I ended up spending Thanksgiving with some friends from volleyball. I went directly to their place after volleyball, cleaned up and had a lovely time eating and hanging out. It was a delightful surprise. What a blessing.

I DECLARE, my life is frequently blessed with delightful surprises. And it is so.

Day 5

I DECLARE I am grateful for who God is in my life and for what He's done. I will not take for granted the people, the opportunities, and the favor He has blessed me with. I will look at what is right and not what is wrong. I will thank Him for what I have and not complain about what I don't have. I will see each day as a gift from God. My heart will overflow with praise and gratitude for all of His goodness. This is my declaration.

I DECLARE I am grateful for who God is in my life and for what He's done. I do not take for granted the people, the opportunities, and the favor He has blessed me with. I look at what is right and not what is wrong. I thank Him for what I have and do not complain about what I don't have. I see each day as a gift from God. My heart overflows with praise and gratitude for all of His goodness. This is my declaration.

Gratitude. Perfect. I am celebrating Thanksgiving a day early with my family.

I have a lot to be grateful for. Here are 10 off the top of my head:

1. I am grateful for my strong, healthy body.
2. I am grateful for my mom and everything that she does for me.
3. I am grateful for my dad and everything that he does for me.
4. I am grateful for my niece and how she makes me smile so much.
    - She did a jig the other day that melted me!
5. I am grateful for my nephew and how he makes me smile so much.
    - He is so affectionate and loving; he launches himself into me for hugs!
6. I am grateful that my family members are healthy.
7. I am grateful for everyone who touches my family members' lives with love and support.
8. I am grateful for my sister, that she stuck by me throughout the years.  
9. I am grateful for my brother-in-law; he is a great husband/father/provider.
10. I am grateful for fun times with my friends and for their love and support.
11. I am grateful to love and be loved by an incredible man.

I could go on. As it is, I went beyond. Off to meditation class now - which I am also grateful for.

Day 4

I DECLARE it is not too late to accomplish everything God has placed in my heart. I have not missed my window of opportunity. God has moments of favor in my future. He is preparing me right now because He is about to release a special grace to help me accomplish that dream. This is my time. This is my moment. I receive it today! This is my declaration.

I am so glad I decided to do this challenge. When my mind starts drifting away with some sad thoughts,  I have the project that acts like a buoy of positivity and love, and I take a deep breath and another, as many as I need to.

Even this sadness that I've been experiencing, I view it as a cleansing. I was speaking with a gal pal the other day about how I've been asking for change, and the change can be difficult. I DECLARE that it can be easy, too, and filled with grace; I DECLARE that it is easy and God gives me the grace I need. And it is so.

Day 3

I DECLARE I have the grace I need for today. I am full of power, strength, and determination. Nothing I face will be too much for me. I will overcome every obstacle, outlast every challenge, and come through every difficulty better off than I was before. This is my declaration.

I DECLARE I have the grace I need for today. I am full of power, strength, and determination. Nothing I face is too much for me. I overcome every obstacle, outlast every challenge, and come through every difficulty better off than I was before. This is my declaration.

Already, I feel God's grace as this was exactly what I needed to declare today. Starting this 31 day project is exactly what I needed at this time. 

I don't know exactly how to organize my thoughts right now. There is so much to share. 

This time, it's not just the highlights. People used to say to me that I always posted such positive things on facebook, which is not a bad thing; however, when I read this quote, "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compre our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." by Steve Furtick, I stopped posting, almost altogether. There is a part of me that only wants to post positive things, because I want to contribute light and love, not negativity, but this made me realize that if I only shared those things, I probably wasn't being "viewed" in my wholeness.

Sometimes I don't feel very positive. Sometimes I feel bad. Sometimes I can be really mean. Being separated from my boyfriend, I know is a good thing, but it's not always easy. I miss him. Sometimes I fear he won't return to me.

I am whole, because in the process of feeling better, I allow myself to feel everything. I cry a lot these days; this started before the separation. It's interesting, because for a long time, I hardly ever cried at all. All those tears I swallowed in the past are coming out, I guess. It used to embarrass me, and I was told not to cry, so when that feeling of sadness preceding tears would come up, I would shut it off and shove it down. I had to learn how to let it run it's course without wallowing in it.

This shift happened for me after my boyfriend and I were already together for a couple of years. My lovely boyfriend gave me the space to do this. I know it was not easy for him, but he saw how I was better for it.

I was in yoga class yesterday, and in the warm-ups, I started crying. I paid attention to when I was ready and able to resume, because emotion is energy in motion, thank goodness! This too shall pass. I know that after the crying, I will feel better, that the pain and sadness will subside, and that I am making space for - what? Well, I DECLARE I fill my space with love, joy, abundance, and creative fulfillment. 

I am grateful for God's grace.

Day 2

I DECLARE I will experience God's faithfulness. I will not worry. I will not doubt. I will keep my trust in Him, knowing that He will not fail me. I will give birth to every promise God put in my heart and I will become everything God created me to be. This is my declaration.

I DECLARE I experience God's faithfulness. I do not worry. I do not doubt. I keep my trust in Him, knowing that He does not fail me. I give birth to every promise God put in my heart and I AM everything God created me to be. This is my declaration.

See what I did there? It is a common school of thought to keep affirmations (in this case declarations) in the present tense, so I tweaked the declaration a little to make it so. It was an intellectual consideration at first, but as I declared the words aloud, it felt better, too.

I've already established a bit of a routine. I wake up, and read the day's declaration aloud, and I read the accompanying message. My plan was to use twitter to keep me honest with sticking to the 31 days, but because of the limit on characters, I decided to return to blogging. But, I do first tweet as much of it as I can, and now I am blogging. Next, I will take pen in hand and handwrite the declaration. I also plan on checking in with the declaration several times each day.

It sounds like a lot, even to me, but it's not. What else am I going to do with my time? I know I am better off redirecting my energy into this 31 day project. I am excited about the upgrade.

Today's declaration comes at the perfect time. (I'm sure each is perfect.) I have been thinking more and more about my calling and being in alignment with it. I love my life. I truly do. I am so grateful. I am so blessed. I have wonderful people in my life. I experience so much love and joy in my life. I am blessed with abundance and prosperity. I truly am. I know that there is even more to experience. Truly. I want more!  More happiness? YES! More blessings? YES! More love? YES! More fulfillment? YES! More abundance and prosperity? YES! Whaddya know - it's already working; I'm feeling more of those things right now. <3

Day 1

I DECLARE God's incredible blessings over my life. I will see an explosion of God's goodness, a sudden widespread increase. I will experience the surpassing greatness of God's favor. It will elevate me to a level higher than I ever dreamed of. Explosive blessings are coming my way. This is my declaration.

I don't think anyone will be reading this. I'm kinda hoping that is the case. I've missed writing, and something feels right about blogging publicly, even though I'm hoping people won't actually read these posts, because of the intimacy/intomesee. And I plan on getting very intimate and maybe sloppy.

I am reading Joel Osteen's I Delcare: 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life, and challenging myself to make it a 31 day project. Read, blog, connect. So far, I know I'll be reading and blogging, but I'm not sure what the thread will be. For anyone who doesn't know, Joel Osteen is a very popular pastor.

Pastor? Religion? Christianity? Some bad experiences I had as a kid, turned me off to religion, most specifically Christianity, at a very young age. In my late 20's I was struggling and felt like something was missing in my life. I was shocked when it came to me very clearly that I was missing spirituality. I started seeking, and it was all about being spiritual, not religious. But now, I've come full circle and I find comfort in some very traditional aspects of the Bible specifically. What hurt me in the past has healed me. It's still more spiritual rather than religious and about a personal relationship with God rather than with a church, but I sure do love some Bible passages.

So, I've been spinning a little lately, and I decided to read this book, make my declarations for 31 consecutive days and blog about it as a way of creating positive change in my life, making it better than I ever imagined. At the same time, my boyfriend and I are taking a 30 day vacation from each other. Well, he's taking a vacation from me. I love him dearly. I could see that he needed space to find his happiness again without having to worry about me and my happiness. I want him to take care of his happiness. He actually taught me a lot about taking care of mine.

Along with Joel's Day 1 declaration, I DECLARE that after spending 30 days apart from each other, our lives (mine and Noe's) will change exponentially for the better. I don't know what this will look like, but I want him to be happy, and I trust I will be, too.